I used to be such a good Catholic. I didn't pray the rosary everyday, but I felt guilty about it like every other good Catholic. It's not so much that I don't believe in God anymore, it's just that everything associated with religion has stripped me of all my positive energy. My anger at the followers of the religion who told me in the eighth grade that a friend of mine was going to hell for loving another woman slowly became directed towards God.
Does He/She still love me? Am I expected to overcome this? Everything in my logic self is screaming that no, it doesn't make sense. Why would this Someone who loves me instill these desires in my heart, if He/She intended me to submit to society's heterocentric values?
Yet, my heart still desires a relationship with this Being, who may or may not hold me to the expectations that Catholics/society holds me to.
"Do you think any less of me?" my friend asked when she came out to me.
"No, because I love you. It doesn't even matter. Just don't hit on me," I remember saying.
"Uh, don't worry. I won't." Frankly, I was a little insulted.
God, if I don't hit on You, will You still love me?
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